December 2010
1 post
Can I just say that I think it is weird and really annoying that boys that I went to high school with are talking to me and want to “hang out”. No, they just want to have sex with me I’m pretty sure. Just because my facebook status says single does not mean I’m single and willing.
You should follow my new blog because it isn’t as depressing and because it...
November 2010
15 posts
“We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which...”
– Carl Sagan (via crookedindifference)
Short, choppy sentences.
I just want to stop making bad decisions and feeling like this. I need to stop doing things to regret. I need boys to go away for a while. I need to stop feeling like all I am to any guy is a hot body. My awkwardness is not me being mysterious. Just because I am cute and I am not a bitch to you doesn’t mean you “know” me. I’m not perfect. I put myself in these situations. I...
“Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?”
Bluebeard, Kurt Vonnegut
Today is my sister and her girlfriend’s three year anniversary. Adorable.
I believe in love and all but I have no desire to find a relationship that lasts that long anytime soon.
It’s my day off and I just want to ride my bike but I am sick.
My life sucks today, at least that is what I am going with.
I am going to make it through today. I am going to make it through today. Iamgoingtomakeitthroughtheday.
I had cookies for breakfast because I still don’t have a credit card or any money to go to the grocery store since my bag was stolen. Since, I am not five or my father I do not enjoy cookies for breakfast.
If I have to force someone to like me or love me or understand me than I do not want to be with them. It obviously is not going to work out.
Why are so many people constantly trying to force things?
I don’t want to go to college.
I want to sit around drinking tea and making beautiful things.
Where’s the major for that?
My room is so perfect right now.
Clean sheets and blankets.
Good candles.
Christmas lights.
Owl lamp.
Perfectly heated.
A bottle of white wine.
A good book.
“You are wrong if you think joy emanates only or principally from human relationships.”
Into the Wild
I don’t have to do homework or go to work or get drunk right now, what the hell am I suppose to do? The past two weeks made me forget what sobriety and free time mean.
October 2010
19 posts
I really just want to stay in and watch Harry Potter.
Just going to go watch Juno and be sad. NBD.
I want to take you far from the cynics in this town And kiss you on the mouth We’ll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene, Start a brand new colony Where everything will change
mumford and sons.
the warmest scarf ever.
the warmest blanket ever.
cold weather.
good things to read.
too much purple today though, in spite of how much I truly love gay people.
Is this what sadness is all about? Is it what comes over us when beautiful memories shatter in hindsight because the remembered happiness fed not just on actual circumstances but on a promise that was not kept?
-The Reader by Bernhard Schlink
“Oh Yes
there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to...”
– Charles Bukowksi (via thechocolatebrigade)
drink up, baby, look at the stars I’ll kiss you again between the bars where I’m seeing you there with your hands in the air, waiting to finally be caught drink up one more time and I’ll make you mine keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest where I like you the best and keep the things you forgot
You spend half of your life trying to fall behind. Your using your headphones to drown out your mind. It was so easy and the words so sweet. You can’t remember, you try to move your feet.
You got me all wrong.
I just want to curl into a ball and die, nbd.
“No I am not where I belong”
I want to be surrounded by people I love.
Or a person.
Bad moods.
Punctuated by work and class and texts that shouldn’t be sent.
September 2010
7 posts
I think I’m going to be Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim for Halloween
So, don’t steal my idea!
As it is, I can’t settle, I want someone who is fierce and will love me until death and know that love is as strong as death, and be on my side for ever and ever. I want someone who will destroy and be destroyed by me. There are many forms of love and affection, some people can spend their whole lives together without knowing each other’s names. Naming is a difficult and time consuming...
NEVERMIND,
the first day of fall is next week.
drunken lies.
DAY OFF!
First day of fall (i think).
I might dye my hair.
uptownvoice:
have you ever gotten a text or something that you read and reacted like, “fuck i’m not answering because i don’t want to deal with that right now.”
probably half of the texts i get.
1 tag
I slept alone once, twice, everyday until I was eighteen. And here again I drift in and out of sleep with no one here. It feels so natural and not nearly as scary as is seems when someone is lying in your arms next to you. I awoke to a humid and miserably hot day. I was alone except for the sweat that covered my body. Like most days lately, only the thought of working entered my dreamy mind. No...
August 2010
43 posts
I’ve figured it out,
all I want is to find someone who makes me a better person (according to my standards). If we have chemistry and he makes me a better person than that is all I need.
Acting like a 12 year old.
Nothing is legitimately wrong, but for some reason all I want to do is stay home in bed tomorrow and cry and cry. I just want to cuddle with someone and for the people I don’t want to cuddle with to leave me alone.
I wish I got along with my family. I just don’t.
I’m drunk and alone and I’ve decided that love is stupid and I don’t want to fall in love again anytime soon.
hooooorraaaaay.
